South Island Soiree's

It was 6:30pm and already dark when the ferry pulled into Picton on New Zealand’s South Island. We were one of the first vehicles off the ferry and immediately we headed down the east coast and drove for a couple of hours before we pulled into a picnic area beside the beach. On the north island we parked several times off road and it normally gets a bit chilly once the sun goes down. We weren’t sure about doing this on the south island due to the weather being a bit more colder, as the heater could only be used when the van was plugged into a campsite, but we decided to give it a try for our first night anyway.


Next morning I awoke to a glorious sunrise so I went out to take some snaps while Joanne snoozed on a little bit longer. I was out for a good ten minutes before I realised just to the right of us was a family of seals sunning themselves on the rocks. I decided to wake Joanne and she managed to lift her head out of the window for a look whilst sitting cosy in her pj’s under the duvet. Joanne was soon up and wanting to get some close up pics of the seals with the bigger lens. While she was taking some photos of the baby seals a guy popped up from nowhere and gave her the fright of her life. The beach and rocks looked amazing as the early morning golden rays danced over them, this is a view that everyone should wake up to.


We decided to try and reach Queenstown in one day, so that we would have more time to chill out over the weekend. The first hour of the drive we had some beautiful blue skies as we whizzed along the coastline with glorious rolling seas on one side and snow capped mountains on the other. As we passed Belfast and Christchurch the skies turned grey for a few hours but the road was long, straight and fast so we managed to eat into the mileage whilst singing along to all the usual dubcentral favourites. After Timaru we turned inland and the scenery went from amazing to spectacular as jade lakes and craggy peaks vied for our attention. We stopped off at dams and mountain passes but we still managed to get to Queenstown before nightfall.

Campervan Rule No 6: Always remember which way is on for the gas bottle

We stopped off to top up the gas as we were unable to cook one night. When trying to remove the bottle we were told that the gas was still on I had turned it off thinking it was on and vice versa. The bottle was almost full. When we arrived in Queenstown we drove about the small bustling centre which seemed to be mainly ski and snowboarding shops with a few coffee shops in-between all busy with extras from “Dude Where’s My Car!”. We managed to get a space in the “Creeksyde Motor Park” which was only a few minutes walk from all the action and had the best facilities and scenery of any of the sites we had hooked up in.

We had hoped to meet up with our friend Gerry’s youngest brother Joe who is currently living in Queenstown, but after a few emails and phone calls to his answer machine we never did manage to meet up. I’m not sure if this was down to our dodgy mobile, Joe’s answer machine or that he’s also blessed with his brother’s legendary last minute change of plans. I could write a book about his brother Gerry and some of his antics and misadventures over the last 20 or so years: I’ve watched him dance in a club 2 hours after breaking his ankle, sit down in a huff during our biggest gig due to things not going his way, demanding hot water for his pot noodle first while camping because quote “I’m the Hungriest” and a hundred other stories that due to legal restrictions I can’t mention on a public forum. When he’s not being “I’m Gerry” he can also be one of the funniest guys to be with and is always great company.


We had a long lie in on the Friday morning after our constant travelling the previous two days. Later we wandered down to the centre and once again we were treated to perfect blue skies above us. I went for a haircut which was badly needed and it was relief to be able to explain what I wanted in English and not rely on hand movements and my dodgy Spanish to get it. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the snowboarding & coffee shops while trying not to spend to much money.

Friday night we headed out to “Fergburger" a Queenstown institution for dinner, we had a beer while we waited over 30 minutes in the queue for a burger. The wait was well worth it as we both loved the massive burgers. Before the trip started I must have had about a total of 5 burgers over the whole year now it seems to be at least one or two a week. After a drink in a non-descript bar we headed back to the campervan, the temperature had really dropped and people were getting excited because of reports of snow overnight on the slopes. That night we slept with the heater on low for the whole night for the first time it would have been freezing otherwise.

Next day after catching up with some laundry and internet stuff we decided to get the skyline gondola up the mountain that overlooks the town. After prising Joanne’s hands off the rail we emerged at the top of the mountain with the most spectacular views over Lake Wakatipu and the surrounding mountains. At the top you could bungee jump, paraglide, luge and go further up to the ski slopes. I love recreational sports as much as the next man but to quote another famous CJ “I never got where I am today by throwing myself off a cliff with a rubber band tied to my ankle” so the closest we got to any dangerous activities was maybe slightly undercooking our sausages at breakfast.


Once Joanne regained her composure after the decent on the gondola we wandered down to the lakeside and looked around the boats and craft stalls before deciding that it was really too cold to be walking about. After dinner we went on a mini pub crawl round some of Queenstown’s many bars, most places seemed to either have large sweaty men on the big screen being shouted at from the punters in the bar or large sweaty men on a stage shouting at punters in the bar. Pub bands in New Zealand seem to fall into two main categories, there’s the bands who play middle of the road rock music from the 80’s like Bryan Adams and there’s the other type who play middle of the road rock music from the 80’s like Bryan Adams but with a harmonica. If I ‘m ever in a bar again when some drunken lout is hollering about his first real six string or what he got up to one summer in the late sixties I declare now that I will not be held responsible for my actions.



Sunday morning was a bit overcast so we decided to start our journey back north on our way to Christchurch about 5 or 6 hours from Queenstown. We took a different route on our way back up and this time we were treated to more majestic snow capped mountains and crystal lakes. We stopped many times to take photos or just to marvel at the spectacular scenery but the highlight of the drive was the magnificent Mount Cook which towered above the other ranges. This was an amazing spot to sit and have lunch, although we only had about a week in the South Island I would say that the scenery was 10 times better than the North Island and would recommend the South over the North to anybody’s who thinking of coming to New Zealand.


We arrived in Christchurch early evening and hooked out van up at a hostel / hotel / Motor park site right in the centre of the city called Stonehurst. We found most things quite expensive in New Zealand but this place had great facilities and was quite reasonable considering it’s central location. Next morning we had a wander round the very English looking city centre with it’s rather unimpressive cathedral not much bigger than any church found in any small town in the UK. We checked out a few record shops where I picked up quite a few second hand CD’s for a reasonable price, I had bought more CD’s in 20 minutes than I had bought in the last 6 months.


In the afternoon we headed to the arts centre which the tourist information centre was plugging furiously, word of advice - DON’T GO…. Set in a beautiful collection of buildings the art centre is nothing more than a collection of studios & stalls selling crap paintings, dreary knick knacks & woollen monstrosities for the over 60’s by the over 60’s who think Rolf Harris was a radical action painter. If the beautiful surroundings inspire this nonsense then I would sooner tear it down and build a multi story car park in it’s place.


We then escaped to the Canterbury Museum which was quite similar to the Te Papa museum in Wellington but not maybe not as modern but has some interesting exhibits on Antarctica and Christchurch through the years. That night we drove over to Riccarton a small district on the other side of the city which had loads of shops, cafes and a large multiplex cinema. After getting some groceries for the rest of the week we decide to go to the movies, we went to see Sin City which we both really enjoyed.

Next day we walked back over to Riccarton as it looked as if there were some interesting shops and we also hoped to sell or exchange some of our DVD’s we had watched over the previous few weeks. We soon found out that due to some weird law about movie ratings in New Zealand no shop could take them because they were rated in another country. We where then quizzed for about 45 minutes about all the changes in Glasgow from the manager of Cash Converters who was from East Kilbride but had lived in Christchurch for the last nine years. It was a beautiful day so we had lunch in the park and were soon surrounded by ducks and swans who liked the look of our sandwiches, Joanne was getting a bit nervous as the large swan chased us through the park.

Campervan Rule No 7: Always remember to duck when entering/leaving campervan

On the Wednesday we booked into the Stonehurst hotel as the Campervan was due back, when clearing out the van Joanne belted her head off the roof of the vehicle and almost drew blood (this was despite her hitting her head at least 20 times during the rental) and we then drove out to the airport to drop it off. Over the 21 days we clocked up over 20,000 Kilometres and managed to avoid any bumps or scrapes so we got our excess back. After returning to the city centre we walked round a few of the bookshops to trade-in some of our travel books, we didn’t see anything great to trade but the owner was quite willing to buy them from us. Again the weather was most favourable so we had lunch at a bar with some outside tables and had leisurely few hours reading the papers and eating some of the best wedges in New Zealand. We really enjoyed the campervan but were looking forward to a night in a real bed and not have to wander across a car park to go to the toilet. That night we went to an Indian restaurant which was ok but we’ve still to find one that comes close to our old favourite the "New Anand" across from our old house in Pollokshields.

On the morning of our last day in New Zealand we went to a the Christchurch Art Gallery and the Centre of Contemporary Arts before we had to head to the airport. The Christchurch Art Gallery is housed in an elaborate glass & steel shed and has an impressive collection of paintings and exhibits all housed in great spaces. One of favourite exhibits at the gallery was by Joanna Braithwaite who seemed to like playing with the laws of natures as most of her paintings had the head of one animal on another’s body. We then went to the Centre of Contemporary Arts around the corner and a had quick look round some of the exhibits.


So after four weeks it was time to leave New Zealand, both of us felt quite disappointed as we were looking forward to coming after rave reviews from loads of people we have met on our trip. Maybe if we came in the summer and were more into all the crazy adventure stuff we might have enjoyed it more. We found NZ expensive and to be honest quite boring after all our great times over the last 5 months.