Laos & Winding Roads

As we crossed no man’s land between China & Laos the building we thought was going to be the Laos checkpoint turned out to be some Chinese administration block, so with our full backpacks we toddled on for another ten minutes along a dusty path in the blazing sun before jumping into a Tuk-Tuk with Pete and Penny the couple we had met just before the Chinese border on the last bus. The Laos checkpoint was only just another few minutes down the path and as we approached we could see people pushing and shoving trying to get their passports through a small hole in the window.

After a slightly protracted process of form-filling and exchanging of documents we managed to get through to the Laos side, where we hoped we could get a bus or some form of transport to Luang Nam Tha. The only bus there when we arrived was already full, so we asked a Tuk-Tuk driver how much to Luang Nam Tha, when he came back with a price that was almost four times the price of the bus we just laughed and decided to have a seat in a small shed next to the crossing that was selling food and our first sighting of the world famous in SE Asia, Beer Laos.

We spent a relaxing half hour sipping Beer Laos and exchanging stories and tales with Pete and Penny. It’s always quite interesting to meet someone who can talk as much as Joanne, and Pete could certainly do that but it was great fun listening to someone almost as passionate about music and football as myself. Pete & Penny have a had few articles printed in Beach Boys fanzines over the last few years as well as having God Only Knows played at their wedding, the song we also had as our first dance at our wedding reception.

We also spoke at length about George Best who we had just found out had been put back on a life support system, Pete talked fondly about seeing him in the late 60’s even though he was a Chelsea supporter. Pete was always quick to point out that he’s old Chelsea and doesn’t feel the same passion for his team now that Abramovich has poured his millions in, some people are never happy as I knew hundreds of other fans who would loved to have millions poured into their clubs but I understand where he‘s coming from.

We were soon joined by another customer who promptly knocked the condiments flying from the surrounding tables as he drunkenly bumped across the room offering us some suspect lethal concoction that you could smell from a good ten yards. We all declined his tipple but we all greatly admired his natty peaked balaclava before he was ushered away by the staff who seemed deeply offended by his antics, but the guy was just trying to be friendly.


Another Tuk-Tuk driver approached us and before we could even arrange a price Pete was convinced he wanted to go with this guy as he thought he had a real friendly Spanish looking face. Well Pete got his way as the driver gave us a price cheaper than the bus and was willing to leave in the next five minutes. After getting our rucksacks on the roof we piled into the back of the Tuk-Tuk, at the same time our drunken friend appeared and started loading the back with numerous sacks and boxes. He was about to get in the back when the driver shepherded him into the front passenger seat away from the rest of his passengers.


The journey flew in as we had a good laugh in the back, bumping along dusty tracks and through some beautiful tiny villages. By the time we got to Luang Nam Tha our hair was matted and clothes had turned a sandy/brown colour but we were thankful to get there in one piece and to have finally stopped moving. As we left the bus station we noticed two large guesthouses, then an American shouted from one of the balconies saying that this one better as it had hot showers. So we headed to Cha Rueh Sin Guest house and found out that you could get an en-suite double room with hot water and a balcony for 3 US$, we could have went for the 2 US$ with shared bathroom but 57p for your own bathroom doesn’t seem that high a price.

Laos never really existed as a country until the French, British, Chinese and Siamese drew a line round it, even then the French managed to spell the name wrong and add the letter s to the end. Over the last few years I’ve heard it pronounced so many ways but I think it’s low as in allow or rhyming with the bow of a boat. The country was under French control until 1953 when full sovereignty was handed back but this was followed by 20 years of chaos as multiple parties split into two factions. The Pathet Lao where supported by the Soviets, Chinese and Vietnamese and the right wing elite by the US who feared another country toppling to Communism in their Asian domino theory. From 1965 to 1973 the US devastated eastern and north-eastern Laos with non-stop carpet bombing trying to flush out the North Vietnamese troops.

In 1973 the US pulled out and the country divided into Pathet Lao and non-Pathet Lao but within two years the Communists had taken over and the Lao People’s Democratic Republic came into existence under the leadership of Kaysone Phomvihan. Today Laos has softened is socialist principles and allows private enterprise and foreign investment and the US has taken Laos off it’s blacklist that contains Cuba and North Korea. Curfews still exist with most bars and hotels closed by 11:30pm and everywhere you go you will see the Laos national flag along side Red flags with the hammer and sickle. At night music and news are piped onto the streets via large speakers attached to the street lights, not knowing much of the language meant that we didn’t get indoctrinated. The music sounded as if it was being played through an old analogue delay unit as it’s echo bounced off the surrounding buildings to give a really weird effect not heard since Static ran out of ideas and started messing about with gadgets.

Luang Nam Tha has about 10 streets so after a quick shower we headed out in search of food, we never had any breakfast or lunch so by the time we picked a restaurant I was feeling mighty peckish. Penny and Pete joined us and after a slight delay in ordering since a 10 year old boy was left in charge of the restaurant we tucked into some ok rice dishes. After a few more drinks we were joined by Camilla and Michael the Czech couple who also arrived in town today before we all headed to the Panda Restaurant which seemed to be the in-place as we never seen the place less than full. We said our good-byes to everybody as Pete & Penny were moving on early the next morning and Mikael & Camilla where heading off on a two day trek. On this trip you say good-bye to many people but so many times you bump into familiar faces further down the line.


Along with some stunning architecture one of the great things about the French being in South East Asia is that you’re never too far away from some outstanding fresh baguettes. So for breakfast it was a great cheese and ham baguettes washed down with some truly disgusting Lao coffee and condensed milk, Joanne got off lightly with a papaya fruit yoghurt shake. It was literally a breath of fresh air being in Laos after the smoggy Chinese cities and great to have a bit of sun on our faces for a few hours.

We had decided to stay an extra day in Luang Nam Tha and have a wander about the town, which we managed in about 40 minutes and that was the long way round. After lunch we ventured out again and found a nice spot to sit and chill out, Joanne got out the sketch pad & pencils we had bought in China while I caught up with some of the blogger on the laptop. After another stroll we bumped into Camilla who told us that they had to cancel their trek as both her and Michael had caught a bad cold and didn’t feel that a two day trek into the mountains would be the best for them. That night we had dinner in the Panda restaurant before the two Czechs joined us for a drink and we talked about their time in China and being brought up in the Czech Republic before the Velvet Revolution and the changes afterwards.

Next morning we crossed the road to the bus station at about 7:40am to book our seats for our next journey south to Luang Prabang, which we managed without too much of a problem or so it seemed. Once our rucksacks where hoisted onto the roof of what looked like the bus from The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour, we climbed over a dozen or so sacks of rice that filled the aisle for the first two or three rows and made our way to the back of the bus. We soon realised that we had been sold seats 44 & 45 of a 44 seater bus. After a few minutes trying to explain this to the driver he came back up to the back of the bus with a small plastic stool and told me to sit in the aisle. When the conductress came on to check tickets I asked for a discount because I had paid for a seat and after trying to pretend to not understand me she eventually grudgingly handed over a 5,000 kip note (27p), to which I replied thank you very much that won’t even get me a bottle of beer.


The bus was over an hour late in leaving and before we left I was joined with another 10 plastic seat aisle hoppers on the seriously over crowded bus. When we eventually pulled out of the bus station at about 9am we hadn’t even left the town when we stopped for the driver’s assistant to get cigarettes from a stall two streets from the station. This was to be the norm and we stopped seven to eight times in the first hour for various reasons. Joanne had ended up sitting beside Donna who was from Wales and both of them had a good moan to each other about the bus and the constant stops while I decided to try and put myself into a trance and block out the uncomfortable bus journey by playing my MP3 player as loud as possible. The road was never straighter than two bus lengths and I had to straddle my plastic seat like a rhinestone cowboy at every bend or else I would end up in the lap of two old Lao’s ladies or two grumpy German guys.

It was a great shame that the bus was so slow and uncomfortable because we passed some glorious scenery and hundreds of little hill villages which would have been great to spend a few hours in and wander about taking photos. At one point we passed what looked like an over turned bus and we saw quite a few westerners walking about dazed with numerous cuts, there was also a local lady lying next to the road with blood pouring from her leg, our bus stopped for a few minutes but we didn’t find out what happened or take anyone on board. We stopped soon afterwards for lunch break at Udommxai and we saw some ambulances heading back in the direction we came from. After lunch I had a look at the map and though we had been on the bus for over four hours we had travelled virtually no distance at all.


The journey went on in the same fashion with numerous stops, at one point we had to get off the bus and show our passports to some teenager in a big green uniform. Twenty minutes further down the road another kid in ill-fitting garb came on to bus to look at our passports before he waved us on. Our next stop might be our most bizarre yet as the driver pulls over after seeing some urchins standing by the side of the road. After a few minutes the driver and his side kick return to the bus after buying a chicken, the kids then approached us offering to sell us rats and mice through the windows of the bus.


Another small village we passed was having a massive party with a few hundred people, I’m not sure if it was a wedding or some festival. In the corner of the garden was a massive Jamaican style sound system with speakers teetering high above the crowd, one on top of each other and only being held together by the smallest of ropes. The Laos girls looked right good on the dance floor, dancing to electro pop like robots from 1984.

Our supposed arrival time of 4pm came and went as day became night and any chances of having a leisurely Saturday night in Luang Prabang were fading fast. At one stop Donna had asked the driver what time did he expect us to arrive, when he said 8pm we didn’t know if he was joking or not but when we finally arrived we pulled into the Luang Prabang it was 8pm precisely as if every stop was a planned to perfection throughout the day. I don’t think I will ever be able to look at plastic seat again without thinking about my journey from Luang Nam Tha to Luang Prabang.