This is the blog/travel journal for Chris & Joanne Reilly from Glasgow, Scotland. After quitting our jobs and selling our house, we plan to travel around the globe for the next year.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Great Barrier Spew

Flew over the Great Barrier Reef before we landed in Cairns airport and were picked up by the Tropic Days Hostel. We arrived just in time for their pizza night and all you can eat for $8 with a free drink….well what more can you ask for. The hostel also sold beer and wine so all we did was kick back and relax (the unpacking could wait ‘til later). We sat chatting to Tracey and Maria from England during the pizza. Then the owner’s daughters were brought out to sing, tell jokes and do some Irish dancing (in the full costume) for us. They passed round a hat as some of the money went to them and some of it was put to charity. We then had a quiz for which we had to read a brochure about On the Wallaby Tours describing several of their tours into the rainforest. The quiz was a mix of questions from the brochure and several trivial pursuits questions with a prize of 2 for 1 on a day tour into the rainforest. So out of about 30 to 40 people Chris and I were equal with another couple so the four of us were all put individually against each other and yet again that lucky Mr Reilly came on top with 6 out of 9 questions right...the rest of us only got two. So as he went up to collect his prize with another big grin on his face he managed to win us a day trip.

The following day we went into the centre of Cairns which was a 15 min walk from the hostel. There is a huge shopping centre where we managed to grab some breakfast before catching up with all our admin stuff for the next part of our trip. That night we caught the free bus into the centre and took our free dinner ticket which the hostel supplies for the Woolshed pub. In the Woolshed you can pick up Spaghetti Bolognaise and chilli for free or pay $5 to upgrade to another main course which we both did. The portions were huge and the food was good. Since we were up early the next day we headed back after dinner and chilled out with a few drinks before heading to the squeakiest bed we’ve ever slept in!!

It was Saturday and our Great Barrier Reef Day and both of us were down to have a dive although we weren‘t sure whether we would go through with it. We were sailing with a company called the Ocean Free, the boat was a sailing boat and we had to sit inside for a bit while they crew told us safety rules and a bit about the diving….by this point I was starting to feel a little rough so I went back outside. I was trying my best not to chuck up and then I was drenched from head to foot by a huge wave splashing over the deck of the boat. Chris sat beside me and at one point I thought he had gone over the side, unfortunately (oops! I mean fortunately) he hadn’t but the wave had knocked him off the seat and onto his knees. Shortly after this I really had no option and after checking the direction of the wind and timing the dips of the boat I managed to discretely part with my breakfast in full view of everyone on the boat. The crew were great and within 10 seconds Bones (a Canadian who was the spitting image of Drew, a guy Chris used to work with) gave me some water but shortly afterwards it was salt water as we were drenched again by another wave coming over the bough of the ship.


When we anchored near Green Island I couldn’t get off the boat quick enough but had to go on a small boat which was even more rougher. I had to sit in the shade on the island in the most expensive sun loungers ever for about 2 hours before I could eventually pull myself together. Strike 2 to the travel sickness. Our lunch was brought over and I managed to eat some of it without the seagulls stealing any. Then Chris was told he had to leave if he wanted to dive...so there I was left on my own on the beach feeling miserable whilst Bones took Chris down for a 1 to 1 scuba dive. When he came back off of the boat ‘Grinning Like a Cheshire Cat’ doesn’t even begin to describe the grin on his face. He had a great time and saw loads of different coral and supposedly found Nemo which made me feel much better.


When I eventually got back on the boat and I was in time to do a little bit of snorkelling….I managed to see a clam close over and ‘Nemo’ well it was a cousin of Nemo or something and several other fish. Definitely the highlight of my day!
The journey back home for me was much of the same since somebody nicked the last of the travel sickness pills so I sat outside only I was freezing this time as wave after wave hit us until eventually we drew up the sails and went without the motor. Meanwhile ‘living the life of Reilly’ Chris had wine, cheese, fruit and cake and boy did he eat it whilst I struggled hard and managed just to keep my lunch down. Despite feeling a bit rough we both really have to recommend this trip as the crew were excellent, from the start they remembered everyone’s name and were extremely attentive to everyone.


We arrived back at the hostel in time to remove at least 2 layers of salt from our bodies before heading down to the Woolshed with an Irish girl called Maria who we met on the boat trip for a well deserved steak and mash which was great. Chris had persuaded me to go and watch the footie since it was on in P J O’Brien’s (another classy Irish Pub not). This place was massive with one half of the pub showing English Premiership games and the other showing that’s night’s SPL games. Meanwhile in the centre the bar staff were doing Coyote Ugly dance routines on the bar!! A bit like trying to watch the football in the Ba Da Bing club in the Sopranos, there was also a live band from Rotoruro in New Zealand playing bad middle of the road rock music a bit like Bryan Adams. So after watching Hearts beat Rangers we sat and watched Celtic struggle to beat Inverness Caley I then managed to escape and head back to the hostel.

Sunday started off as a day of rest as we didn’t get back until 2.30 so it was up late for a quick brekkie before heading down to put in Chris’s underwater camera in and a few hours on the internet meant that our chance to chill in the sun was gone. We had heard about a really good restaurant from Elizabeth in Trinity Beach and it didn’t look too far from Cairns, so we got our glad rags on and headed out on the bus. After 45 minutes on the bus we were starting to get worried that by the time we got there the place would have shut but luckily the place was still open. The place was called L’Unico an Italian restaurant ran by Aldo (Elizabeth’s friend Maria’s brother), who managed to get us a great seat and slipped us a few free drinks and a great desert not bad for a Chelsea supporter. We both had such a delightful meal and managed to waddle to catch the bus back without any problem and got ourselves organised for another early start.

The following day was our freebie tour with On the Wallaby Tours. We were picked up by Bart who was to be our guide for the day. After everyone on the bus doing a bit of an introduction of themselves and what they were doing we soon arrived at our first stop overlooking a valley with a bluey grey haze over the landscape which was due to the Eucalyptus trees. We then went into the forest in the Atherton Tablelands to see the Cathedral Fig Tree which was thousands of years old....these trees actually grow from the top down on existing trees and sap all of the energy wrapping itself round it until eventually it dies and the fig tree has taken over. We had a walk through the rainforest where we saw a Water Dragon (a type of lizard) and the rear end of a kangaroo known as Muscurat so called as the explorers thought it was a rat.


We then had lunch at a lake and saw some turtles swimming in the water. Following this was the treat of the day we went to three waterfalls. The first one was Millaa Millaa falls where we went into the water for a swim underneath the falls....it certainly took your breath away as the water was absolutely freezing. We then went to the Zillie falls where we had some tropical fruits for a snack and then onto the Ellinjaa falls before heading home. The rainforest was so cool in comparison to the heat in Cairns.


We were dropped off just in time for the Aussie BBQ back at the hostel, which was to be a fitting end to our time Australia with our first Barbie. After a quick change we got ourselves sorted out for the BBQ sitting next to Maria and Tracey. The menu included crocodile and kangaroo along with your usual sausages and stuff, all of which was excellent. After this there was a didgeridoo competition with the owner showing us the white man‘s didgeridoo - a plastic pipe and funnel along with the more traditional ones. Several people were picked to have a go along with other members of the audience who had to jump and hop like a kangaroo.…..fortunately neither Chris nor I were picked for this. And so to bed to pack as we were travelling to Japan the next day.


To sum up we had a great time in Cairns and only wished we had extended our time there for a few days to see some more of the area and actually be able to have chilled by the beach. Our 4 weeks in Australia have been fantastic from the moment we got off the flight in Sydney until we got on our flight out from Cairns.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Don`t Look Outback in Anger

As we started our descent into Alice Springs all I could see through the window was a floor of red with the occasional patch of green bush, this took me back to growing up in Glasgow in the 70’s & 80’s where instead of learning the beautiful game on turf it was skint knees & Dettol scrubs after a kick about on red blaze. This never deterred me too much as most of my childhood I would be out playing football somewhere or other, usually somewhere you weren’t supposed to be like the local library grounds, school playground or out on the street. You think all this practice would have made me a good player but it never worked out that way. One season I won the Most Improved Player while playing for St Robert’s Guild, and I can always remember one of the other players saying at the time “You must have been really rubbish at the start of the season”. The following season I won the “Loyalty” trophy which was also another award invented to make the crap players better about themselves.

We were picked up at the airport by the hostel and where in our rooms unpacking within 20 minutes of landing. We had booked to stay at Annie’s Place Hostel for one night each side of a three day tour into the outback and round Uluru (Ayers Rock), but due to a festival being held in Alice Springs the tour had been put back a day. This meant we had two days each side of the tour in Alice Springs, so we decided to wander into town and have a look around to see what the town had to offer. We soon realised we weren’t the only outsiders in town that day as about a 30 to 40 Harley Davidson Bikes passed us on our short trip into town. We quickly found out that it was the Harley owners national jamboree, I’m not sure if they call it a jamboree but they do seem a bit like the Boy Scouts with their matching greasy uniforms.

Well it took us about 25 minutes to walk the full length of Alice Springs and that included swotting about 3 million flies, they never mentioned them in the TV adverts or colour brochures. I could have done with one of the brochures to help fend of the disgusting little blighters as they flew up my nose and in and out my ears and we looked enviously at the people walking about the with the fly nets over their heads. We found somewhere for lunch before returning back to the hostel to chill out by the pool for a bit. Just before sunset we reached the top of Anzac Hill on the edge of the town to watch the sun setting over the hills that surround Alice Springs and it was a quick turnaround back to the hostel. I’m not sure if it’s something to do with them both being in the centre of their respective countries but the more time we spent in Alice Springs it seemed more and more like Falkirk all be it with a little more sun. Back at the Hostel, Falkirk’s finest Arab Strap seemed to be cropping up a bit more than usual on the random setting on the MP3. I can just imagine Aiden Moffat out here in his best bush gear hailing imaginary taxis as he’s bundled out the pub at closing time whinging about some Shelia who’s dumped him.


Annie’s Place likes to cover all the bases for backpackers with decent rooms, swimming pool, internet café, tours, laundry, kitchen facilities, a bar and restaurant. All residents can get any meal on the menu for $5 AUS (about £2.20), the food turned out to be really good and on the first night Joanne had breaded chicken and chips and I went for the kangaroo curry. The staff were all really friendly and they always seemed to remember you name, not bad considering the hostel had space for up to 75 guests and were changing almost daily.

Next day we headed to “Henley on Todd Regatta” an event that has been staged in Alice Springs for the last 44 years and had been declared an iconic event by the Northern Territory Government which seems to attract nutters from all around the world. Well this wasn’t your usual regatta with upper class twits larking about on rivers in between their Pims and cucumber sandwiches, first of all the river was bone dry and the only drink to be had was VB or XXXX lager. The first event seemed quite tame as teams of four ran up and down the dry river bank carrying boat like frames trying to be the first team over the line. We soon realised that there were in fact about 1800 Harley Owners in town and most of them seemed to taking part in some of the many events: Oxford tubs, Tug of War, Sand Shovelling and numerous races with different objects either being carried, pushed or pulled along the river bed.


After heading for some shade in the after afternoon we headed back to watch the finale of the show, the Gun Boat Battle. This was three large floats done up to look like boats which drove round the arena firing water and flour bombs at each other as well as the usual stray missile into the crowd, this went on for about 15 minutes and the place looked like a scene from Apocalypse Now by the end of it, I was expecting Robert Duval at any minute to emerge from the smoke and start shouting “Smell That, Smell That…. I love the smell of Flour in the morning“ or something similar. One of the best things about the whole event were the two commentators who waxed rubbish for hours about each event and who seemed more interested in telling people the Aussie Rules latest scores and saying hello to friends in the crowd. One of the guy’s was like the commentator from the movie “Best in Show” with his stupid questions and weird analogies. Headed back to Annie’s Place for some more $5 meals and off to bed early as it was an early rise for our tour into the outback.


We had to be out our room and in the car park for 6:30am to be picked up by the bus, most of the people who were going on the tour were also staying at Annie’s Place so we didn’t have to drive round picking up from other places. Once we were all on and introduced to the tour guide (also called Chris) it was a short half hour drive out to Noel’s Camel Farm where you got a chance to ride the camels, feed the kangaroos and eat some pigs…..well they did serve bacon rolls. The camel rides only lasted for about 5 minutes but that’s about as much of the smell you could probably handle at that time in the morning. Joanne and myself went on the same camel and all my nightmares from the horse riding in Bolivia came flooding back, but it started off not to bad and even the fast bits I found quite enjoyable. I’m not sure if Joanne quite liked getting off the camel as it lunges forwards and nearly throws you over the top. Once everybody was back on the bus it was a three hour drive to Kings Canyon for our first walk. Along the route we saw many wild camels and horses and a few times we had to slow right down to make sure we didn’t hit any. The camels were brought over in the 1800’s from Lanzarote to help with expeditions into the bush but with the introduction of the railways into Australia’s far flung corners they were just abandoned to the wild where they have flourished and now are being rounded up and sold back to rich Arabians for camel racing.


The walk started with a steep climb in the baking heat but once we reached the top we had a break and the guide Chris told us loads of stuff about the geology and history of the surrounding landscape. The rest of the walk was fairly easy and the canyon was quite stunning in places, we stopped at a waterhole called The Garden of Eden and some of the group went in for a dip. Joanne and myself decided against having a swim as the water was freezing and it was also a bit hazardous getting in and out of the water. On the way round the walk we got speaking to Dyane from near Elgin and Tiffany an Aussie girl, it was quite a diverse group with not that many having English as their first language. We then headed to a cattle ranch called Curtis Springs where we going to be sleeping that night under the stars. You start to understand the sheer size of Australia when the Curtis Springs cattle Ranch is bigger than Belgium.

After searching for firewood in the surrounding bush we set up our swags in a circle around the fire and had a few beers and chatted to some of the group while waiting for dinner to be made. After dinner Joanne and myself were amazed as about half of the group jumped into their swags and went to sleep, the rest of us had a few more drinks around the fire. The swags where a lot more comfortable than I thought they were going to be, the only problem we had sleeping was the full moon shining brightly above us. Next morning it was up at 6:30 but we were surprised how long it got some of the group to get up and ready. Here’s a rundown on the group: 6 Germans, 3 Koreans, 3 English, 2 Belgians, 1 Japanese, 1 Australian, 1 Swiss and of course 3 Scots. The young Swiss and Swedish guys really needed a rocket up their backsides to do anything over the three days of the trip, I couldn’t believe how long it took them to do anything. Also when the Swiss guy was asked to grate some cheese by the tour guide his response was “I don’t know how to do that my Mum does that for me”….needless to say he was shown how to do it and grated the cheese for the whole group.

Once everybody was up and we had cleared the site it was a drive out to the Olgas (Kata Tjuta) where we had a hike through the Valley of the Winds. The walk was fairly easy but the scenery was amazing and once again we had a beautiful day with hardly a cloud in the sky. I had never heard of the Olgas before arriving in Alice Springs and I’m sure if they weren’t as close to Ayers Rock (Uluru) then they would be as famous as their neighbour. We then had a visit to the culture centre at Uluru which had loads of informative displays on Aboriginal culture and why Uluru is so sacred to them. We then had our first chance to get up close to Uluru and for those who wished to defy the aboriginals pleas to not climb Uluru could if they so wish. Joanne and myself decided not to climb as it would be akin to abseiling the Wailing Wall, bunging from the Sistine Chapel roof or Cycling round Mecca the wrong way. We were quite surprised when quite a few of the group decided to climb and especially when Erika one of the Korean girls jumped off the bus, the previous day she had struggled at the first part of Kings Canyon.


While the others climbed we had a chance to walk round the base and have a close look at the many sacred sites that we had read about in the information centre. It didn’t take us to long to walk back round to the van and wait for the rest of the group to descend from the top of Uluru, some of the group where already down. We had arranged to meet a 5pm but by 5:30 Erika was nowhere to be seen and the rest of the climbing group had left her half way up because she was struggling. Chris the guide then had to climb it (well run it almost) to try and find her, this added another 20 minutes to the wait but she was found on the way down oblivious to all the concern down below. When she got back on the bus all she could do was laugh, I’m not sure whether anyone else could see the joke, we then drove a short distance to a viewing point where we could see the sunset on the rock.

Because we were late in leaving we didn’t manage to get a spot with a table so we had to walk a bit further round to get a spot for ourselves. We carried our large cool box of beers round and sat and watched Uluru slowly change colour as the sun set behind us, many people tried to push into our spot but Joanne and few of the girls defended the ground brilliantly. I got speaking to a few of the guys about football and the Belgian guy who I can’t remember his name was amazed I had even heard of Mechelen never mind knew what there strip was like, he knew lots about Scottish football but mainly from seeing Belgian players like Joos Valgaren and Thomas Buffel playing for Celtic and Rangers. Uluru looked really impressive from here and everyone in the world could probably recognise it from this vantage point, while we watched the sunset Bushtucker Chris made dinner and once it was dark we ate and watched the stars appear one by one in the night sky.


Once we reached our camping grounds for the night we had to go in search for firewood again, slightly more difficult doing it in the dark than yesterdays daylight search. Once the fire was going we all sat round the and played a few games, we tried to play Chinese whispers but with 8 different countries in the mix it was always going to be a bit of a disaster. Tak the Japanese guy was sitting next to Joanne and he would never understand her and just make something else up so by the time it was back to the start we had some real strange new phrases. The group seemed a lot more livelier than the night before and most people sat up talking for a few hours even though it was going to be a 4:30 rise so that we could get back down to another viewing point to see the sun rise this time on Uluru.

We were one of the first groups to arrive at the viewing point but this didn’t seem to matter to the people who turned up late as they would just push and shove to get in front and there were nearly a few fights. At one point we tried to get a photo of a Kangaroo sign with Uluru in the background but we had to wait for 15 minutes as a group of 5 Japanese girls mimicking Kangaroos all wanted to check that their photos had worked in each of their own cameras. Another thing could someone please drop us a line and explain to us why that every Japanese person under the age of 30 must do the two fingered peace sign in every single photo that they are in. We have seen this happen everywhere and we‘ve decided to do it all the time in Tokyo so we don’t look too different.


After breakfast it was another hike round Uluru where Chris told us a lot more about the local Aboriginal people and their customs. We also spoke about why there seems to be lots of Aboriginal people drinking in the streets of towns like Alice Springs. After been thrown off your own land and forced to suffer many atrocities over the years is it any wonder that so many don’t want to integrate into a western type society and turn to drink and petrol sniffing as a way out. Back in the bus it was a four hour trip back to Alice Springs and Joanne, Tiffany, Chris the guide and myself had a played the game when you name someone famous for example Steve McQueen then the next person has to name a famous person who’s first name starts with an M and if both first name & surname starts with the same character then the direction changes the other way. This lasted until about 10 minutes outside Alice Springs and it got down to myself and the guide for the last while.

The whole group met up for a meal and a few drinks at Annie’s place, it was quite weird to see everybody dressed up and out of their hiking stuff. I got speaking to Tak from Japan who was asking me about Nakumura who plays for Celtic and I was asking about his Daniel Johnson t-shirt. After a few drinks at Annie’s a crowd of us headed to another bar in Alice Springs, the place was a bit of a barn but it was quite busy for a Tuesday night. After quite a few more drinks, few dances and some weird conversations with Koreans, Swedes and Germans it was back to the hostel for a well earned sleep. Next day we didn’t do too much but chill out by the pool and catch up with our diaries and blogger and we started to read up on Japan. Thursday lunchtime it was time for our flight to Cairns in the north east of Australia.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Return to Sydney

After ditching the car we managed to get a room in Formula 1 (a bit like a Travelodge) in the Kings Cross area. That evening we met up with Elizabeth and went for another Thai meal this time in Neutral Bay just up the road from her house. We were all sat down comfortably having a glass of wine and catching up with what we’d all been up to when the owner (we think he was the owner anyway) pulled out a mike and started smooth talking about his place and if we needed anything just to let him know……this was just the build up as he started to sing the Lionel Richie song ‘Hello’ crooning gently - we thought after one song that would be it but unfortunately the cheesy love songs kept on coming. So much so that he didn’t stop singing when opening the door for a couple of customers nor when they had sat down and he casually flicked the menus to them in time with the music. It was difficult trying not to laugh until we had left the building, which was almost impossible.

We met up with Matt, Nick and a couple of their friends in Oxford Street (where all the gay bars are in Sydney) and went into a couple of busy bars. The first bar was called “Columbian” and was quite trendy with some good music, the second bar had a jukebox and was really busy, it wasn't long before Elizabeth was organising the community singing. Matt as we’ve explained already had a problem understanding our Scottish accent and as the night wore on and he had a few more drinks he turned to me and said…..”I really don’t care if I don’t understand you anymore” and fell about laughing. We tried to get in a few other bars but I was knocked back for having my sandals on, so we managed one more drink and started heading home about 3am and stopped off for a kebab on the way back to the hotel.


We had to be up early on the Sunday as we had booked another hotel for the remainder of our stay in Sydney, so after dragging ourselves out of bed and finished packing we started to climb the hill towards our next hotel. I had absolutely no energy whatsoever and was scared that the weight of my bag would topple me over back down the hill. It took me 10 minutes to get to the top which I would normally have done in about 2. After we emptied our bags and getting a huge cooked breakfast we arranged to meet Elizabeth so that three of us could cross harbour bridge together. We met at Milsons Point on the north side of the harbour across from the Opera House before we started our walk across the Harbour Bridge. It was another lovely day but it was extremely windy on the bridge so we decided not to climb the viewing tower. After Chris not buying me anything in Tiffany’s or letting me even look at the rest of the shops in the Rocks shopping centre we decided to go to McQuarries seat and took the archetypal Sydney tourist photo with both the Opera House with the Harbour Bridge in the background.


We then headed to Doyles in Watson Bay by ferry for their world renowned ‘in Australia’ fish and chips. After the 45 minute ferry trip we were all hungry and ready for some food…..we were all also desperate for the loo. By the time we went to the loo and got to the chippie it had closed it’s doors….so we had to head back on the boat to Sydney without even a single chip. So you could imagine how hungry we were by the time we returned to Circular Quay and almost ran into the Italian restaurant across from the platform. Elizabeth and Chris were in deep conversation when the waiter came up he looked quizzically at me then asked “I’m sorry but can you tell me what language you are speaking”. I replied “English” and told him we are from Scotland…..he left the table not believing us. We were all nearly on the floor laughing. When he came back he told us he was from Turkey and that he had never heard English spoken like that before. This kept our minds from the thought of food long enough for it to arrive and had us all laughing all the way back to the hotel/home. Elizabeth informed us that Sunday nights traditionally have a good movie on ….imagine our disappointment when we started to watch one of the worst movies we have ever seen called "Strange Bedfellows", the movie which starred our favourite Oz actor - Paul Hogan.

On Monday we walked back over to Camperdown to pick up our Chinese visas and for lunch had another $5 steak in Scruffy Murphy’s a rather grotty Irish bar just off George Street but the food was fine. We had arranged to meet Elizabeth for dinner at Govinda’s in Kings Cross for Dinner and a Movie. Elizabeth had us a link to Govinda’s website about six months ago and it was somewhere both Chris and I definitely fancied going to once we got to Sydney. The Hare Krishna ran Buffet Restaurant also had a small movie theatre upstairs showing the current Art House movies doing the rounds. So after some great Vegetarian food we climbed upstairs to the movies theatre, it wasn’t just your ordinary movie theatre with uncomfortable nylon covered seats but loads of huge bed’s with pillows where you lie back and let all the food slowly digest but only once you‘ve take your shoes off. The movie that night was "The Assassination of Richard Nixon" starring Sean Penn based on a real story of a man on the edge slowly uncoiling into tragic consequences which Chris said reminded him of some people back home (you know who you are) and reminiscent of “Taxi Driver” starring Robert De Niro. Once again another great night in Sydney with another great meal was coming to end, it was getting more and more difficult thinking about leaving Sydney.


On Tuesday we decided to walk down to the Opera House via Woolloomooloo past all the fancy yachts (some guy called Russell Crowe has an apartment on the harbour here apparently) and fight our way through the bus loads of Japanese tourist at Macquaries seat. After lunch we went to the Museum of Contemporary Art where we really impressed by some of the artists in the Primavera Exhibition showcasing some of Australia's up and coming young artists, Chris really liked the work of Monika Behrens. We then wandered around the shops for a while before heading back out to meet Jonathon (one of the guys from the Peru tour). We met Elizabeth, Jonathan and one if his friends at the Town Hall steps and headed across the road for a couple of drinks. After that Elizabeth went to look at a new flat and the rest of us headed to China town for some food, once in China town we had to fight our way down the street with staff from all the different restaurants trying to pull us into their places. We were suddenly swayed by the one offering a free bottle of wine, which we eventually got after a bit of haggling over the brand. The food once again was good and it was great to catch up with Jonathon who had to head off just before 10 to catch his train back to the Blue Mountains an hour and forty five minutes from Sydney.

The following day we walked the same way as the day before and decided to climb the Pylon Lookout on the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Inside the lookout they gave you lots of information and statistics on the bridge and at the top you got a chance to see a higher view of the harbour.


Some interesting facts about the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

1) Completed in 1932
2) Cost $20 AUS million
3) Weighs 52,800 tonnes
4) World's largest (but not longest) steel arch bridge
5) Widest Longspan Bridge in the world
6) 16 people where killed in the construction

You also got to see the folk who had decided to climb the bridge….now up to a point it is ok but you also have to cross over the middle of the bridge to get back down…..you are clipped on of course but that might not stop me being pushed by a certain Mr Reilly so I definitely decided that this was a no go area.


That afternoon we headed out to Homebush on the train to a large discount shopping mall just like the McArthurglen in Livingston to see if we could pick up some new clothes and things for the rest of the trip, surprisingly there were quite a few British shops. After buying a couple of items we also tried a Pied which is Turkish bread filled with whatever topping you want….we had chicken and a spinach and cheese topping which were both lovely.

At night we headed to Luna Park a fairground which has been opened and closed many times over the years. Several people have bought expensive flats overlooking the bridge thinking that this place would be closed down for good, but now all they hear at the weekend are the shrieks and yells from the people on the rides. We took several pictures but as it was closed we headed back to Kings Cross and went to Global Burgers where we both had great burgers.



Thursday was our last day in Sydney so after having a wander round China Town and Paddy’s Market (a bit like the Barras) we went back to pick up some things from Elizabeth’s in Neutral Bay. We met up with Elizabeth after she finished work and we all headed out to Leichhardt which is the Italian quarter of Sydney. After wandering about the shops we went into Luna Blue where I had lamb shank which was officially declared the largest in the civilized world (well that’s if you consider Australia to be civilised) while both Chris and Elizabeth had pasta. As soon as I had finished my main course (well my fork had hardly hit the plate) when the two vultures I was sitting next to started to fight over the bones for any scraps of lamb and were disappointed to find that most of what was left was the fat. Since it was our last night we even went for the desert, Chris went for some Sorbet nonsense while Elizabeth had the Crème Caramel and I managed to clean my plate of Tiramisu in world record time. We then jumped a bus back into central Sydney and headed to the Opera Bar for one last look at the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House before we said our sad farewells to another great friend and Sydney.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Canberra & The Snowy Mountains

Wednesday 7th September and we walked over to Hertz to pick up our hire car and were upgraded from a Toyota Echo to a Corolla - bonus! Got on the road as quickly as possible and started our south bound drive to visit my aunt Mary Anne in Adaminaby which was near the Snowy Mountains. We quickly left Sydney via a long underground tunnel before emerging into glorious sunshine and drove along a toll motorway towards Canberra. Unfortunately the car only had a CD player and we’d left our CD’s at Elizabeth’s so we were unable to use our MP3 player without a tape deck. We managed to find a really good radio station called Triple J which played mostly new music with a few old Indie classics. So we drove along occasionally singing along to the music, admiring the scenery and straight roads. After a few hours we stopped off in Picton for a short break and for what turned out to be the first of a few sausage rolls on this trip. These ones were bigger than Gregg’s back home but just didn’t cut the mustard with Chris - Round 1 to Gregg’s. After 4 hours we arrived in Canberra and were soon settled into the huge YHA Hostel on the outskirts of the city.



After the federation of all the Australian separate colonies in 1901 a decision had to be made where to place the national capital. After bickering between Sydney and Melbourne to become the capital, land was purchased roughly halfway between them and Canberra was created and finally became the seat of national government in 1927. So we headed towards Parliament house as the sun went down, the modern looking building was opened in 1988 to replace Old Parliament House which was supposed to be a temporary accommodation but was in use for 61 years. The Parliament is set on a hill overlooking the new city and the brilliantly named picturesque Lake Burley Griffin.


We then headed back into the small commercial centre of Canberra and went for a wander around the shops before having dinner in a Chinese restaurant called Sammy’s Kitchen. We had read in Bill Bryson’s Down Under” book that the choice of food available in Canberra wasn’t up to much so when we saw this place in a shopping precinct packed out on a Wednesday night we thought that it couldn’t be that bad. We couldn’t even get a seat in the restaurant and were placed at a table out in the precinct but it was well worth it when the food came. There doesn’t seem to be much to do in Canberra so afterwards we returned to the hostel and watched a few DVD’s before hitting the sack for the night.

At 9am we once again headed south this time towards Cooma the nearest big town to my aunts. My aunt has lived in Australia for almost 30 years and I last remember seeing her when I was about 6 or 7, but talking to her on the phone you would think she was still in Glasgow as her accent hasn’t changed at all. On arriving in Cooma we stopped for petrol and a quick bite to eat and this is where Chris had another huge sausage roll (a major rival to Greggs). We then got directions to Adaminaby which is 50km from Cooma and had another lovely drive along a quiet road and managed to find my aunt’s green and white house quite easily.

We were quickly made welcome both by her and her two small dogs. We blethered for quite a while and it was so spooky that despite my aunt having left some time ago several of her mannerisms were just like my dad - boy was that a bit freaky. Her two dogs were lovely with Cindy constantly wanted petted and Buster just making sure before he came near us. Her house was originally in Old Adaminaby and was lifted and transported further up the hill as they were making way for a dam. We met her two friends Violet and Bill who were from Lanarkshire and also hadn’t lost their accent even thought they have been here since the 50‘s. Bill could talk for Oz and showed us around his impressive house which was transported to it’s present location in three huge parts along with his pride and joy a huge shed which he built himself. He is 74 and doesn’t look much older than 60 and is a sprightly old chap still managing DIY and building projects at every possible opportunity in between his other love which is fishing. We went back for dinner and our highlight was chips made from fresh potatoes - ye cannae beat them and we talked some more before heading to bed.


After breakfast Bill came round to give us a drive around the town, the lake and where Old Adaminaby was before the river was dammed. He showed us where my Uncle Robert used to fish and where he caught all his best fish, he also seemed to know almost everyone who lived in the towns or he had something to do with either fixing their house or helping them with some manual task. The strange thing was that most of the people were from Europe and he didn’t actually mention anybody here as being Australian. This is where we managed to see our first real live Kangaroo and not one at the side of the road joining the increasing road kill statistics. The weather had changed from the previous days glorious sunshine into a murky grey sky and we could hear thunder storms in the distance before it started to really pour. We decided to leave around 2’ish to give us a chance to get back to Canberra at a reasonable time since we had to drive a bit slower due to the rain.

Arrived back in Canberra around 5 and done pretty much the same as our last time here apart from visiting the Parliament building. Just like to say to Mr Bryson that if he ever returns to Canberra that he should head to “Sammy’s Kitchen” as once again we had a great meal. Next morning it was up and out the hostel by 7:30 to give us time to drive the car back to Sydney before 11:30 am once again we had a glorious day to drive back.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Steak 'n' Sydney

After our four weeks we came to realise why there’s so many travel and flight shops in New Zealand, it’s because everyone wants out and the ones who can’t get a flight are left with no option but to throw themselves off or out of bridges, gorges, mountains, planes or anything they can think of to relieve the mind numbing boredom of life with the Kiwi’s. So as we waited for our flight to Sydney we hoped that Australia was going to be a whole lot better and not more of the same.

On arriving in Sydney we got on a shuttle train into the city to meet our friend Elizabeth who we staying with for our first few days in Oz. Elizabeth used to work with a friend of mine and we got to know each other when she would meet us in Rab Ha’s or Bacchus before and after going to Celtic games. She surprised us a few years back when she took a career break and went to Portugal to work in a bar, we didn’t think she could survive being away from Celtic and Henrik Larsson. She didn’t last long on her return and was soon on her way to Oz where she has been for the last two years.

After meeting Elizabeth we got ourselves a weekly train, bus and ferry pass for AU$32 (about £13 UK) and headed out to Neutral Bay on the north side of Sydney Harbour, crossing the famous landmark Sydney Harbour bridge for the first of about 100 times. It was only about 10 minutes on the bus to Elizabeth’s house where we quickly dumped our bags had a cup of tea before heading back into the city for some dinner and our first look around.

We went to Darling Harbour which has a plethora of fancy bars and restaurants, overlooking yachts bobbing up and down on the quayside, and had our first great meal in Australia while catching up with all Elizabeth’s news. Everyone knows Joanne can talk for Scotland but she had found her match in Elizabeth and with me being so quiet it was really hard to get a word in edgeways. We then wandered down to circular quay and had our first look at the Opera House which seemed quite surreal after seeing it so many time on television and in books. It truly is a spectacular setting with the Harbour Bridge and the skyscrapers sparkling incandescently behind the Opera House in the night sky.


After a wander round the historic Rocks area (well as historic as Australia gets) with it’s Victorian warehouses which now house fancy designer stores & over-priced coffee shops, I’m not sure what the first load of convicts who landed here would have thought of the Chai Tea Latte’s, Louis Vitton handbags and Versace vests in the newly gentrified Rocks.


We then went for a drink in a large bar which also like most bars in New Zealand had half the place taken over by slot machines or as there more commonly known around these parts as Pokies. Not just your one or two in the corner like back home but 20 to 30 with all the associated noises and hangers on like you would expect, so much for a quiet drink. In the other corner a band from New Zealand were playing middle of the road rock music a bit like Bryan Adams which seemed to go down well with the locals as they danced and shouted along with every word. After our drink we headed back to Neutral Bay by ferry across the harbour with the Opera House to our right and the Harbour Bridge on the left it wasn‘t long before we were back in Elizabeth’s.

Elizabeth had taken the Friday & Monday off so that she could show us Sydney’s hotspots and some of the places that the guide-books forget to tell you about. First off we had to go into the CBD (Central Business District) to go into Trailfinders and get some forms for our Chinese Visa application and some info on Japan’s Bullet trains which we have to book before entering the country. Once we got the admin stuff out the way we headed down to the Opera House for a daytime look around the harbour and the place looked just as spectacular as the night before but this time it was the sun that was sparkling on the turquoise waters of the bay and the shimmering tiles of the Opera House.


We then strolled through the Botanic Gardens with it’s ornamental ponds and decorative pathways which are inhabited by strange looking birds that I hadn’t come across before called Ibis they have strange curved beaks which seemed to have been specially designed to get into the bottom of McDonald’s french fry wrappers. We then passed by some trees when Elizabeth pointed out thousands of bats hanging upside down on the highest branches above our heads, every now and again a bat would fly off and you'd see it’s unmistakable wings in the blue sky.


For lunch we headed into China Town for Yum Cha, to be honest I’m not sure what the difference between Dim Sum and Yum Cha is but I wasn’t complaining. After being seated in the huge over-ornate dining area and loaded up on Green Tea, an endless procession of small oriental woman in large trainers would shuffle past us pushing steaming carts of food. Every now and then they would stop at our table and indecipherably shout high pitched at us before lifting the lids to dumplings, spring rolls and other riches and would motion them towards our plates. If there advances weren’t knocked back quickly enough it was straight on to our table and our bingo ticket like bill was stamped in the corresponding square and within seconds they were off to harangue the next table. The food was amazing with each parcel or spring-roll crammed with chicken, prawn or beef and bursting with flavours of ginger, spinach and garlic.


Next off it was down to Circular Quay for the Manly Ferry, this is nothing to do with the rest of the Ferry’s being overtly feminine but just the name of the final destination on this route. We disembarked at the picturesque beach of Manly and wandered about watching people fall off surf boards, more people fall off surf boards and very occasionally someone staying on one for over 10 seconds. The beach was a beautiful golden colour and was quite busy for an early Spring Friday afternoon. This is when Elizabeth told us what’s her prerequisites for Australian men….

1) Bluies (Tight Blue Shorts)
2) Flannel Shirt
3) Wife Beater (Vest)
4) Yoout with a dog in the back (Jeep with a flatbed)

And finally

5) White Speedos for the beach (as modelled by George Michael in the Club Tropicana video)


I had heard of Elizabeth’s unhealthy obsession for George Michael in the past and her pilgrimage to Wembley in the mid 80’s to see Wham’s final gig before the other one disappeared into the sunset and before George disappeared into a Los Angeles public toilet. Elizabeth has a total collection of about 28 CD’s 25 of which are by Mr Michael, her father once remarked that if George recorded “The Sash” she would probably still buy it.

After all our exertions of watching the surfers we decided to head to Cold Rock Ices for some ice cream, it wasn’t just your vanilla here. For about £2 you got two massive slabs of ice cream from a choice of about 50 different types and then you had the choice of a filling to be mashed into the combination of ice creams. Here’s the choices we went for with Joanne's combination being the best of the three (she certainly knows her ice cream)

Chris: Pistachio & Almond Ice Creams with Cookie Dough
Joanne: Milk Chocolate & Peanut Butter Ice Creams with Peppermint Aero
Elizabeth: Vanilla & Strawberry Ice Creams with Jaffa Bursts


After we washed down our indulgences with some coffee’s we watched the sun slowly set on the beach before heading back to Elizabeth’s on the bus. That night we went for dinner in a small Japanese restaurant in Neutral Bay called Koh-Ya BBQ with Elizabeth’s friend from work Nick and his partner Matt. In Sydney most restaurant’s have a BYO (Bring Your Own) policy which allows you to bring your own wine for a small corkage fee, it’s also about £2 or £3 cheaper for a good bottle of wine from an off sales here than back home.

It was a buffet style restaurant with a slight twist, once you select you meat & vegetables it’s brought to your table raw and you cook the food yourself in a small gas grill sunk in the centre of the tables. This turned out to be great, the quality of the food was brilliant and we managed without anybody getting burned or getting food poisoning. After the meal we went to a local bar called “The Oaks”, Matt was struggling as the night wore on, more and more to understand the three Scots as we talked to Nick a Londoner about things from Britain. At about 1:30 we called it a night and said goodbye to Nick & Matt who live on the side of the Harbour.

Saturday morning we headed over to Paddington to have a browse round the weekend market, Joanne bought a pair of sunglasses at the second stall we saw and hexed the rest of the weekend as the sun was never seen again. The market was definitely a whole lot better than the Barras in Glasgow with original & quality merchandise on nearly every stall and no Pirate DVD’s or cheap tobacco in sight. We then stumbled on a stall selling rubber masks when the owner asked me to try one on, he must of thought my striking good looks would boost his sales. Our favourite was the balding condescending looking mask with a large hooked nose called “Vinny”, somehow it seemed strangely familiar.



After the three of us devoured our steak sandwiches for lunch we wandered round the rest of the market, there’s loads of good artwork and photographic prints on sale. I also got a Dubcentral t-shirt made up from a stall called Global Style who made up t-shirts to your design in about 15 minutes.

Next stop on our Sydney tour was Bondi Beach, which to be honest was rather disappointing with grey skies due to Joanne’s Sunglasses curse and it also seemed a bit run down compared to Manly from the day before. We had a quick stroll up and down the promenade before hightailing it back to Neutral Bay and onto the net for a few hours.

Saturday night and we were meeting up with Maria and Paul more of Elizabeth’s friends in Newtown and the plan was to head for some Thai food. As we were walking along the road we could hear this blaring music coming from behind us and as we turned round we saw this souped up wheel chair speeding towards us with a guy who looked like a cross between Davros and Joey Ramone holding a large ghetto blaster on his knees swerving in and out of all the pedestrians scrambling out of his way. All I could think of was the ram-raiding granny in the Irn Bru advert and the tag line “Step away from the Vehicle”, Newtown definitely had it‘s fair share of characters. We soon realised that Newtown had about 100 Thai restaurants and most were full but we managed to get a table for 5 after not to long.


We ordered 5 mains and a few side plates and every single dish was delicious, by the end there wasn’t a single piece of food left on any of the plates. I spent most of the night talking to Paul about travelling and IT stuff as he does some similar work as I did back home. We rounded off a good night with some coffee’s and headed back for the evening to watch some football on the TV. Sunday we had a lazy day as Joanne’s Sunglasses spell was not for letting up so we caught up with some blogger stuff and sat and read the Sunday papers.

Monday morning and it was still quite grey so we headed down to some bookshops in Mosman just along the road from Neutral Bay and once the sun came out we wandered down to the beach. There was a large shark net across the beach that looked rather worse for wear and didn’t look if it would dissuade a goldfish never mind a Great White from getting close to the beach. Once again the beach looked really good and put Bondi to shame, I’m not sure why Bondi is so famous but all these other beaches we have seen seem so much better. We then had a late lunch which again was terrific, Sydney seems to be rivalling Texas for all the great food, we haven’t had a bad meal yet.

That night Elizabeth had a ticket for the Premiere of Cate Blanchett's new movie “Little Fish”, so Joanne and I went up to Kings Cross for a wander about and to book some things on the internet. After taking some photos at the large Coca Cola sign at the top of William Street we got the metro back down to Circular Quay and took some more night photos of the Opera House and The Harbour Bridge.

It was also our 4th Wedding Anniversary so we decided to treat ourselves (I know you are all laughing back home, if talking a year off work is not enough of a treat), we decided to have some cocktails in the Opera House overlooking the harbour and the bridge. It was a great spot to sit back and relax, it’s going to be difficult to top this one, last year it was Prague not sure where it will be next year. After her film was over Elizabeth came and met us for a drink and told us all about the movie, which she really enjoyed.

Elizabeth was back to work on the Tuesday morning and we had to head over to Camperdown to hand in our applications for our Chinese Visas, the office was closed but a shop across the road would process the applications for a small fee so it wasn’t a wasted journey. After that we headed back into the centre and window shopped along George Street, Sydney’s main shopping thoroughfare. Most things seemed quite reasonable and a whole lot cheaper than New Zealand, we even picked up some really cheap DVD’s in JB -Hifi a cross between Fopp and Richer Sounds back home.

We got the bus back to Mosman to use the internet and Elizabeth met us there, so we could go for dinner in the bar just along the road which sells $5 Dollar Steak. This seems to be a bit of an institution out here in Oz, you see it advertised in big banners outside many bars and restaurants. I can’t think of anywhere back home where you would get steak for under £10 but for £2.20 we were served a massive steak covered in a really nice pepper sauce and mashed potatoes. After that we headed back to Elizabeth's so that she could watch “The Bill” and we could pack our bags for our trip down to the Snowy Mountains.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Music Reviews

As we drove around New Zealand in the campervan we got a chance to listen to lots of music which my brother Andrew had sent me or we had blagged from David & Lynne's collection in Texas. Here's a few quick reviews of some of the stuff we've been listening to over the last month or two.

Smog - 'A River Ain't Too Much To Love'
Bill’s back with another collection of dark gems and twisted tales all loosely about a river. This might not contain anything as immediate as perennial party favourites “Cold Blooded Old Times” or “Held” but it more than makes up for it with glorious melancholic stories all bathed in the golden light of the mellowing Mr Callahan’s dark humour



Tungg - This Is...
If you could imagine a laid back folky Beta Band playing the “Wicker Man” soundtrack you would be halfway there, if not go and buy this lovely album which bubbles away into your subconscious, Beautiful and Light.





Laura Cantrell - Humming By The Flowered Vine
More tales of drunken regrets and missed opportunities from DubCentral’s favourite Queen of the bar-room ballads. The sound doesn’t venture too far from her usual country template but Laura’s voice elevates the sometimes Nashville hokum into heartfelt hymns to the lost and lonely.





The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers

Decent poppy stuff with some good male/female vocal interplay that reminds me of the Wannadies but a whole lot better, not sure about back in the UK but they are getting a fair amount of airplay in Oz at the moment.





Ambulance Ltd - Ambulance Ltd
Ticking all the right dubcentral boxes with their spaced-out instrumentals, cool cover versions and the catchiest song of the last few months (“Anecdote”). At times sounding a bit like Wilco or Beulah this band who I know nothing about seem to be heading in the right direction.




DubCentral’s Top Sing-a-Long-a-CamperVan Tunes

Iron Vest (Chase the Devil) - Max Romeo
The Whisky Makes You Sweeter- Laura Cantrell
Anecdote - Ambulance Ltd
The Well - Smog
Hummingbird - Wilco
Bernadette - The Four Tops
The Drifter - Ray Pollard
Dance Crasher - Alton Ellis & The Flames
My Doorbell - The White Stripes
Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
Drivin’ on 9 - The Breeders
Forever Lost - The Magic Numbers
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Freak Like Me - Sugababes
Gigolo Aunt - Syd Barrett

Thursday, September 01, 2005

South Island Soiree's

It was 6:30pm and already dark when the ferry pulled into Picton on New Zealand’s South Island. We were one of the first vehicles off the ferry and immediately we headed down the east coast and drove for a couple of hours before we pulled into a picnic area beside the beach. On the north island we parked several times off road and it normally gets a bit chilly once the sun goes down. We weren’t sure about doing this on the south island due to the weather being a bit more colder, as the heater could only be used when the van was plugged into a campsite, but we decided to give it a try for our first night anyway.


Next morning I awoke to a glorious sunrise so I went out to take some snaps while Joanne snoozed on a little bit longer. I was out for a good ten minutes before I realised just to the right of us was a family of seals sunning themselves on the rocks. I decided to wake Joanne and she managed to lift her head out of the window for a look whilst sitting cosy in her pj’s under the duvet. Joanne was soon up and wanting to get some close up pics of the seals with the bigger lens. While she was taking some photos of the baby seals a guy popped up from nowhere and gave her the fright of her life. The beach and rocks looked amazing as the early morning golden rays danced over them, this is a view that everyone should wake up to.


We decided to try and reach Queenstown in one day, so that we would have more time to chill out over the weekend. The first hour of the drive we had some beautiful blue skies as we whizzed along the coastline with glorious rolling seas on one side and snow capped mountains on the other. As we passed Belfast and Christchurch the skies turned grey for a few hours but the road was long, straight and fast so we managed to eat into the mileage whilst singing along to all the usual dubcentral favourites. After Timaru we turned inland and the scenery went from amazing to spectacular as jade lakes and craggy peaks vied for our attention. We stopped off at dams and mountain passes but we still managed to get to Queenstown before nightfall.

Campervan Rule No 6: Always remember which way is on for the gas bottle

We stopped off to top up the gas as we were unable to cook one night. When trying to remove the bottle we were told that the gas was still on I had turned it off thinking it was on and vice versa. The bottle was almost full. When we arrived in Queenstown we drove about the small bustling centre which seemed to be mainly ski and snowboarding shops with a few coffee shops in-between all busy with extras from “Dude Where’s My Car!”. We managed to get a space in the “Creeksyde Motor Park” which was only a few minutes walk from all the action and had the best facilities and scenery of any of the sites we had hooked up in.

We had hoped to meet up with our friend Gerry’s youngest brother Joe who is currently living in Queenstown, but after a few emails and phone calls to his answer machine we never did manage to meet up. I’m not sure if this was down to our dodgy mobile, Joe’s answer machine or that he’s also blessed with his brother’s legendary last minute change of plans. I could write a book about his brother Gerry and some of his antics and misadventures over the last 20 or so years: I’ve watched him dance in a club 2 hours after breaking his ankle, sit down in a huff during our biggest gig due to things not going his way, demanding hot water for his pot noodle first while camping because quote “I’m the Hungriest” and a hundred other stories that due to legal restrictions I can’t mention on a public forum. When he’s not being “I’m Gerry” he can also be one of the funniest guys to be with and is always great company.


We had a long lie in on the Friday morning after our constant travelling the previous two days. Later we wandered down to the centre and once again we were treated to perfect blue skies above us. I went for a haircut which was badly needed and it was relief to be able to explain what I wanted in English and not rely on hand movements and my dodgy Spanish to get it. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the snowboarding & coffee shops while trying not to spend to much money.

Friday night we headed out to “Fergburger" a Queenstown institution for dinner, we had a beer while we waited over 30 minutes in the queue for a burger. The wait was well worth it as we both loved the massive burgers. Before the trip started I must have had about a total of 5 burgers over the whole year now it seems to be at least one or two a week. After a drink in a non-descript bar we headed back to the campervan, the temperature had really dropped and people were getting excited because of reports of snow overnight on the slopes. That night we slept with the heater on low for the whole night for the first time it would have been freezing otherwise.

Next day after catching up with some laundry and internet stuff we decided to get the skyline gondola up the mountain that overlooks the town. After prising Joanne’s hands off the rail we emerged at the top of the mountain with the most spectacular views over Lake Wakatipu and the surrounding mountains. At the top you could bungee jump, paraglide, luge and go further up to the ski slopes. I love recreational sports as much as the next man but to quote another famous CJ “I never got where I am today by throwing myself off a cliff with a rubber band tied to my ankle” so the closest we got to any dangerous activities was maybe slightly undercooking our sausages at breakfast.


Once Joanne regained her composure after the decent on the gondola we wandered down to the lakeside and looked around the boats and craft stalls before deciding that it was really too cold to be walking about. After dinner we went on a mini pub crawl round some of Queenstown’s many bars, most places seemed to either have large sweaty men on the big screen being shouted at from the punters in the bar or large sweaty men on a stage shouting at punters in the bar. Pub bands in New Zealand seem to fall into two main categories, there’s the bands who play middle of the road rock music from the 80’s like Bryan Adams and there’s the other type who play middle of the road rock music from the 80’s like Bryan Adams but with a harmonica. If I ‘m ever in a bar again when some drunken lout is hollering about his first real six string or what he got up to one summer in the late sixties I declare now that I will not be held responsible for my actions.



Sunday morning was a bit overcast so we decided to start our journey back north on our way to Christchurch about 5 or 6 hours from Queenstown. We took a different route on our way back up and this time we were treated to more majestic snow capped mountains and crystal lakes. We stopped many times to take photos or just to marvel at the spectacular scenery but the highlight of the drive was the magnificent Mount Cook which towered above the other ranges. This was an amazing spot to sit and have lunch, although we only had about a week in the South Island I would say that the scenery was 10 times better than the North Island and would recommend the South over the North to anybody’s who thinking of coming to New Zealand.


We arrived in Christchurch early evening and hooked out van up at a hostel / hotel / Motor park site right in the centre of the city called Stonehurst. We found most things quite expensive in New Zealand but this place had great facilities and was quite reasonable considering it’s central location. Next morning we had a wander round the very English looking city centre with it’s rather unimpressive cathedral not much bigger than any church found in any small town in the UK. We checked out a few record shops where I picked up quite a few second hand CD’s for a reasonable price, I had bought more CD’s in 20 minutes than I had bought in the last 6 months.


In the afternoon we headed to the arts centre which the tourist information centre was plugging furiously, word of advice - DON’T GO…. Set in a beautiful collection of buildings the art centre is nothing more than a collection of studios & stalls selling crap paintings, dreary knick knacks & woollen monstrosities for the over 60’s by the over 60’s who think Rolf Harris was a radical action painter. If the beautiful surroundings inspire this nonsense then I would sooner tear it down and build a multi story car park in it’s place.


We then escaped to the Canterbury Museum which was quite similar to the Te Papa museum in Wellington but not maybe not as modern but has some interesting exhibits on Antarctica and Christchurch through the years. That night we drove over to Riccarton a small district on the other side of the city which had loads of shops, cafes and a large multiplex cinema. After getting some groceries for the rest of the week we decide to go to the movies, we went to see Sin City which we both really enjoyed.

Next day we walked back over to Riccarton as it looked as if there were some interesting shops and we also hoped to sell or exchange some of our DVD’s we had watched over the previous few weeks. We soon found out that due to some weird law about movie ratings in New Zealand no shop could take them because they were rated in another country. We where then quizzed for about 45 minutes about all the changes in Glasgow from the manager of Cash Converters who was from East Kilbride but had lived in Christchurch for the last nine years. It was a beautiful day so we had lunch in the park and were soon surrounded by ducks and swans who liked the look of our sandwiches, Joanne was getting a bit nervous as the large swan chased us through the park.

Campervan Rule No 7: Always remember to duck when entering/leaving campervan

On the Wednesday we booked into the Stonehurst hotel as the Campervan was due back, when clearing out the van Joanne belted her head off the roof of the vehicle and almost drew blood (this was despite her hitting her head at least 20 times during the rental) and we then drove out to the airport to drop it off. Over the 21 days we clocked up over 20,000 Kilometres and managed to avoid any bumps or scrapes so we got our excess back. After returning to the city centre we walked round a few of the bookshops to trade-in some of our travel books, we didn’t see anything great to trade but the owner was quite willing to buy them from us. Again the weather was most favourable so we had lunch at a bar with some outside tables and had leisurely few hours reading the papers and eating some of the best wedges in New Zealand. We really enjoyed the campervan but were looking forward to a night in a real bed and not have to wander across a car park to go to the toilet. That night we went to an Indian restaurant which was ok but we’ve still to find one that comes close to our old favourite the "New Anand" across from our old house in Pollokshields.

On the morning of our last day in New Zealand we went to a the Christchurch Art Gallery and the Centre of Contemporary Arts before we had to head to the airport. The Christchurch Art Gallery is housed in an elaborate glass & steel shed and has an impressive collection of paintings and exhibits all housed in great spaces. One of favourite exhibits at the gallery was by Joanna Braithwaite who seemed to like playing with the laws of natures as most of her paintings had the head of one animal on another’s body. We then went to the Centre of Contemporary Arts around the corner and a had quick look round some of the exhibits.


So after four weeks it was time to leave New Zealand, both of us felt quite disappointed as we were looking forward to coming after rave reviews from loads of people we have met on our trip. Maybe if we came in the summer and were more into all the crazy adventure stuff we might have enjoyed it more. We found NZ expensive and to be honest quite boring after all our great times over the last 5 months.