Chris Up in a Brewery

After our nightmare trip from Luang Nam Tha to Luang Prabang we chickened out and decided to get the VIP bus south to the capital Vientiane, for only a few pounds extra each. I would hardly say the bus was luxurious but we didn’t have to climb over any sacks or share our seats (yes I even got a seat this time) with any livestock. The bus even left five minutes early which was a major improvement on our last two bus journeys. The bus showed some movies which were either Laos or really bad American movies so I just turned up my MP3 and delved into my book. Once again the scenery was outstanding as we wound up and around some amazing looking mountains that came straight from a 70’s dinosaur movie set usually starring Doug McLure who you might remember from such movies as The Land that Time Forgot and the epic mini series Roots.

A lunch was thrown in as part of the price of the trip, so we stopped off for some noodles and had a chance to stretch our legs before getting back on the bus. For the rest of the journey they showed Karaoke videos which I gladly ignored but Joanne said they were all terribly over dramatic and ended with the main character been killed or killing themselves. We then also saw another set of hills in the distance that looked like a famous English football panellist from the 70’s and after referring to the map in our guide book I found that this range of mountains were called the Jhim-ee Hills and that they’re known locally for spewing rubbish on regular basis.


We arrived early into Vientiane which was just as well as we had to trek round quite a few guesthouses and hotels before finding somewhere with an available room. After unpacking our bags we headed out and had a look round the main bar and restaurant area which sadly was nowhere near as nice as Luang Prabang. After dinner we had another scout about before we headed into an internet café to watch the Aberdeen vs. Celtic game but we could only get the BBC tickertape and updates from the Celtic forums. Luckily after the Dons went ahead Celtic came alive and won 3-1 which meant that Joanne could get to her bed without me moaning too much.

Next morning after our now routine baguette for breakfast we went out to see some of the sites in town. The first we passed was That Dam a large black stupa which was well on it’s way to falling into disrepair. This decay seemed to add a bit of gravitas to the stupa (a Buddhist shrine that usually houses a relic or marks the location of an auspicious event) but we couldn’t find out much more information about this particular one. After a trip to the post office we came across the Patuxai which was Vientiane’s ugly interpretation of Paris’ Arc-De Triumph, the concrete for the monument was donated by the American’s for a new airport runway but the Laos government in 1969 thought it would be more beneficial to have a large imposing monstrosity in the middle of the busiest street in town.


Next stop on our tour of Vientiane’s hotspots was Pha That Luang the most important national monument in Laos which is a symbol of both the Buddhist religion and Lao sovereignty. The construction of the beautiful golden stupa was started in 1566 and stands within a high walled cloister which has hundreds of images of Buddha as well as a selection of art by local artists. But the shimmering golden stupa steals the limelight and your eyes are constantly drawn to it’s many towers dazzling in the azure above. We chilled in the cloisters for a while, sketching and updating our journals.


Our hotel was right next to the national stadium so we sneaked in and had a wander round. The place was quite run down but there were crowds of people who seemed quite happy running round the track and playing football behind the goals. The Laos relay team really need some coaching as the baton was dropped nearly every time they had a change over and then a few of the runners would start arguing with each other over who let it go.

It was quite cloudy on the Tuesday so we headed to the large morning market to scout out a few things we had been looking for over the last few weeks. Joanne eventually managed to get one of the local skirts that she’d been admiring since arriving in Laos. After a good bit of bartering she got 2 meters of material and a seamstress to turn it into a fitted skirt for the price of Big Softee in Gregg’s Bakery back home, but I’m not sure what she would rather have at the moment. I wasn’t to be out done in the bargain front so I picked up one of the straw footballs I had been playing with a few days earlier in the village near the waterfall.

The weather was a lot better on the Wednesday so we decided to hire bikes, head out of town and maybe work off some of the beers from our previous nights. After consulting our guidebook we decided to cycle to the Beer Lao factory 12Km out of town, so maybe pointing our bikes in direction of the biggest beer factory in the country wasn’t the best idea. We steered ourselves through the busiest part of town no problem and everything was going well until we came to a fork in the road but we never had a clue which road to take as it wasn’t on our map. A few of the locals must have seen our puzzled looks as they came over, asked us where we going and when we told them they laughed and pointed down to left. After another fork in the road and with more locals helping us on our way we arrived at the factory just after 12.

When we approached the reception we were told everyone was on their lunch and we would have to come back after 1 o’clock, so we sat about in the sun and ate the remainder of our baguettes. After lunch we were ushered into a plush reception room with fancy leather sofas and display cabinets fully of trophies and awards from all around the world. After a short wait a young lady appeared with a Beer Lao gift pack for each of us and asked if we would like a tour of the facilities. As Joanne stood up she soon realised that she must have sat on some chewing gum outside, but the problem now wasn’t that it was on Joanne but all over the expensive looking seats. Joanne quickly asked for some ice and the both of us were rubbing furiously over the gum trying to get it off the leather upholstery. Luckily we managed to get it all off the seats and the guide was most impressed with our knowledge of stain removals, Joanne said she become so good at this due to her living with me.


The tour lasted for a grand total of 12 minutes as we were whizzed round the bottling plant churning out 60,000 bottles and 12,000 cans of Beer Lao every hour. 99% is sold in Laos and only a tiny fraction makes it out of Asia. Maybe since I won’t have a job when I return home I should buy an export licence and try and conquer the Scottish lager market. After the tour we were taken into a plush lecture theatre and offered a complimentary beer or water, as we were cycling we decided to stick to the water. OK only joking we had the beer, as if we were going to knock back a free beer.

On our cycle back into Vientiane we stopped off at a few Wats, at the first one Haw Pha Kaew we had a young monk escort us round but his English wasn’t great and never gave us any real insight into the temple or the many exhibits in it’s small museum. The next was Wat Si Saket and this was well worth a visit, built in 1818 the temple has some unique features. The interior walls of the cloister are riddled with small niches that contain more than 2000 silver and ceramic Buddha images, there are also 300 stone Buddha’s resting on long shelves in front of all the niches.


It was our last night in Vientiane so we decided to head to Nazim’s Curry House, after really enjoying it’s sister restaurant in Luang Prabang. We didn’t think the nans were off the same high standard but we both loved our curries. We then headed into a bar called Sticky Fingers for their half price cocktails which slipped down very nicely. After bumping into Michal & Camilla again we ended up in the busy Kop Chai Deu Food Garden watching Chelsea v Liverpool play out a boring Champions League 0-0 draw. This Champions League is not all it’s cracked up to be, it was so much better when it only had Champions in the tournament.


Our two weeks in Laos didn’t last long and we both enjoyed our time especially in Luang Prabang, we now wished we had applied for 30 day Visa but maybe next time. All that was left to do on Thursday was to pack our bags, pick up some Dong for our next destination and make our way to the airport in a tuk-tuk.